Pulling The Flag

Power Rankings – Week 3

Power Rankings Week 3? What happened to Weeks 2’s, I hear you ask?

Well, we all had a chat about it and then decided we’d be more productive watching the new Star Wars trailer over and over again, working out how old we thought Chewbacca really was, and pinging elastic bands at the annoyingly heavy breather in the works office instead. Sorry Lord Vader!

(Also, we’re making it fortnightly, so teams…y’know…get a chance to actually play and stuff)

So, like that little green man and his lightsaber, it’s time to force our opinion on you once more.

Yep, this week’s rankings are going to be filled with Star Wars references.

1. Cardiff Hurricanes

Like Jabba the Hutt, Cardiff are sitting there looking down at the rest whilst everyone else runs around hoping someone’s going to beat the top dog and change the order of things. Not looking that likely at the moment, but the season’s long and you never know if that pretty-looking, innocent team is going to come up behind you and make you choke in your own fortress.

2. Sheffield Predators

This weekend will be the moment the empire strikes back. The Preds get their first chance on Saturday to take the field in the league since Britbowl. With four players showing well at last weekend’s GB trials, the Preds certainly have strength in their ranks to get back to the big show. Can they do it without Master Lollar? Yep, they’ve got the padawan Dean Whittingslow waiting in the x wings!

3. Birmingham Lions

The force is strong with this one! Three opening day wins proved a point and justified their pre season rankings entrance into the top ten. Varney and Co look like they don’t just want to win, they want to pull the arms off a Gundark, Wookie style! 153 points scored in those three games says one thing – They’re not too old to begin the training.

4. Reading Lions

Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try! Reading are doing it and doing it well. 5-0 says their training is over. They have mastered their game and are making a real noise in the South. The Rebel alliance are struggling and the Chichester Sharks look like their likely nearest rivals. Look for more to come from the Reading Lions and a trip to the playoffs.

5. Aberdeen Oilcats

The Oilcats move into the top bracket courtesy of the Rebels poor start. Now the Aberdeen squad seem to be made to suffer. It’s their lot in life. Five consecutive trips to the playoffs have yet to yield a final for them. With their opener on the way, it could be time for the ‘Cats to come out of the shadows and swing their double ended lightsaber in the direction of the HNC title. Not afraid? You will be!

6. Grangemouth Broncos

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy, we must be cautious… Only kidding Grangemouth, we actually really like you. We also like your chances of playoff football. With Newcastle slipping up in their opening game to Edinburgh, the Broncos must be licking their lips at the prospect of dropping in on regionals.

7. Chichester Sharks

The Sharks have ousted the Rebels as well? Like a Stormtrooper trying to take a leak in his suit, its impossible to not to find that uncomfortable. What with the Rebels shock start, the Sharks look like taking the Lions all the way in the battle for the top two spots. So we’ve drank a few Jawa juices and are ready for the backlash for leaving the Rebels out of the top ten. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

8. West Essex Showboats

Rememeber the scene where Luke, Han, Obi Wan and Chewie hide in the smuggling compartments on the Millennium Falcon? Well, we’ve heard a rumour that is where the Buckinghamshire Wolves hid when they were supposed to host two weekends ago. The Showboats didn’t get a chance to strenghten their postion because of it. However, we couldn’t move the Essex team either way, so they stay at number eight. We have tried to contact someone at the Wolves, but they seem to be on a different frequency, how could they be jamming us if they don’t know we’re…coming?

9. Woodham Warriors

Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine, we’re all fine now, how are you?

The omission of Woodham from the top ten has upset a few of you lovely people who are nice enough to actually read the ramblings of us fine folk at PTF. Well, we’ve seen the error of our ways and have put them back where they belong. Statement wins over Burnley, Calderdale and Leeds certainly proved a point. Will somebody get this big walking carpet out of my way?!

10. West Coast Trojans

Jeez, they’re out of it for a little while and everyone gets delusions of grandeur! The Trojans are back. When they actually get to play we will see if they are as good as we remember them to be. Tough match-ups against Aberdeen and Glasgow should be tasty, so keep an eye out for movement as far as these three teams are concerned. And you thought they smelt bad on the outside!

They were our only hope.

No, there is another…

Why, you stuck up, half witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder… If you agree with our top ten, disagree, or just wish to talk about utter nonsense just like us, then get in touch, leave a comment or post on our timeline. We love the feedback.

May the force be with you…

 

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